VALUE-BASED SEXUAL EXPRESSION MANUAL 'FACTS OF LIFE'; PART TWO

VALUE-BASED SEXUAL EXPRESSION MANUAL 'FACTS OF LIFE'
The manual was written in order to provide resource for parents, guardians and teachers approaching the sensitive and godly task of teaching youth about the Facts of Life.

VALUE-BASED SEXUAL EXPRESSION MANUAL 'FACTS OF LIFE'; PART TWO

4. Concern for future 
Parents have reason to be concerned about the stability of their children’s future marriages.  Challenges facing marriage include divorce and the growing crisis of the family. 
  Challenges are, however, just that: challenges. God will always assist us when requested to do so, as promised by Jesus Christ. [Matt 6; 9-13] 
  Of concern to some is whether the use of birth control [also known as family planning] is against God’s Will. 
  The reality is both biological and reassuring. God Himself – the loving and ever-wise Parent – has inbuilt the ability to plan and space a family within the woman’s reproductive system. 
  Varied reasons may lead to the decision to space a family. 
Examples of causes leading to the decision for family planning include; 
 The need for a woman’s body to recuperate from one pregnancy and build up strength again prior to another pregnancy 
 Illness in husband or wife 
 Financial crises, refugee status or homelessness  Situation of conflict or war 

Since the husband is continually fertile and able to implant life, the choice to have children when wished by the couple is assured. 
  Since the wife is fertile for only a few days each month, the choice may be morally and confidently made by the couple to avoid intercourse during her few fertile days, should reason and common sense dictate this decision. 
  Birth control which is morally value-based, biologically safe and chemicalfree is discussed further in the booklet pdf below. 

5. Decency and modesty 
The practice of decency and modesty in speech, action and dress is very important for creating an atmosphere suitable to the growth of value-based self-mastery and maturity of character. 
  This practice must be well motivated by respect for one’s own body and for the dignity of others.    Parents should be watchful over the influences in their family home. 
  The following influences should be closely monitored; 
 Some fashions may portray youth as objects of desire instead of children peacefully living out their childhood 
 Glamorisation of violence or portrayal of sexual expression in a milieu contrary to moral values 
 Divorce of the parents with subsequent disruption and distress to their children 
 Media expressions which do not follow the moral values of decency, modesty and family-based values.
  Respect for privacy must be considered in close connection with decency and modesty, which spontaneously defend a person who refuses to be considered and treated like an object of pleasure instead of being respected and loved for himself or herself. 
  If children or youth see that their legitimate privacy is respected, they will know that they are expected to show the same attitude towards others.   Non-anxious respect within a family for each other helps to support decency and modesty. 
  This respect may include the following; 
 Parents show love and affection towards each other in a responsible manner. 
  Privacy of the parents when exchanging love in the act of marriage shows respect for themselves and their children 
 Non-anxious modesty by requiring privacy when dressing, bathing and relevant ablutions among the family members strengthens the values of decency and modesty 
 Breastfeeding of a new baby is a natural event and also for the older infant/toddler. 
  Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months. 
  On average, when a mother is breastfeeding on demand, ovulation only returns after 13 months.    Choosing suitable clothes, always keeping a shawl handy and teaching a speaking toddler an appropriate code-word can ensure modesty and dignity – it is possible. 
  Some youth may feel slightly awkward at such an event. 
  New mothers can thus either retire to another room if they wish, or place a shawl over their shoulder [being careful to ensure air flow to the infant] 
 Supervision of who is allowed into the family circle and the family home. 
  Sad experience has shown that all who are trusted are not always worthy of that trust. 
  The family unit should be one of utmost safety, nurture and protection of youth. 
  The parents are the guardians of who may enter. Never take the moral decency of visitors for granted. 
 It is best to keep your children under home supervision at all times. 
  Many sleepovers at friends’ houses have exposed youth to abuse. 
 The choice of books, media in the home may deeply influence a child or youth, and have a lasting effect on character in later life. 
 Parents should have the confidence to choose value based literature in their home library. 
DVDs, CDs, books and magazines containing material which glamorise violence, or prove negative towards family values should be kept out.  Indiscriminate television and cinema attendance may prove a disruptive influence on a child’s moral formation of character.
 Likewise, indiscriminate access to the internet, e-mail facilities or telephone can place youth in a vulnerable position without the life skills to discern what is of value to them or not. 
  Parents need to show discernment in this regard. Some families do not have a television, and allow children to have a phone which can only be used for an emergency call and communication with the parents. 
  There are strong forces which can place pressure on children such as cyber bullying or grooming. The parent is the guardian protecting the child. 

6. Sanctuary of life and faith 
The first and greatest example that parents can give their children is their generosity and joy in accepting life. 
  Through example, children will understand the joy of a new brother or sister gifted to the family by God through the secure love of their parents. 
  A safe and balanced family unit is the best environment for a child’s holistic growth to maturity, adulthood and independence. 
  The family is meant to be a sanctuary of life and faith. 
  Each infant is meant to be welcomed into the family with love and acceptance. 
  This includes the handicapped, who are entirely dependent upon the loving generosity of their families. 
  However, once the pregnancy has become fact, abortion can never be an option. 
  Abortion is not allowed in the law of God [Exodus 20;13]. 
  By word and example, parents should teach their children the importance of obedience both to God’s Word, and love for the fruit of their own bodies. 
  Ideally, every family should be a home of faith and prayer, in which God the Father’s Presence is sensed, the Word of Jesus is accepted, the Spirit’s bond of love is felt, and where the Parents of Jesus – Joseph and Mary – are loved and invoked. 

The life of faith and prayer supports and nourishes family life with all its varying circumstances. Family life is a call from God. 
  Within its fabric, the family members experience joys and sorrows, hopes and disappointments, births and birthday celebrations, wedding anniversaries, departures, separations, home-comings, important and far-reaching decisions, deaths of loved ones. [7] 
  Through all these experiences, there is One Constant; God’s loving intervention in the family history. 

Prayer times should be woven into the family routine. 
Examples are 
 Morning prayer upon rising 
 Evening prayer before retiring  
 Grace before meals 
 Grace after meals 
 The angelus 
 Bible readings 
 Sunday mass 
 Daily rosary Baptisms, weddings, confession [sacrament of reconciliation], Eucharist, anointing during illness, house blessings help to bring God’s grace upon the family, strengthening it in their daily ups and downs. 
  
The good example and leadership of parents is essential in strengthening the healthy and morally sound formation of youth. 
  A mother who values her maternal vocation and her place in the home greatly helps develop the qualities of femininity and motherhood in her daughters, and sets a clear, strong and noble example of womanhood for her sons. 
  Mothers often need to have a career in order to support the family finances and ensure basic life necessities of the family.
   Illness, desertion or widowhood are some of the factors which necessitate that a mother become breadwinner as well as maternal head of the family. 
  This can place great demands on the mother; prayer and discernment prove invaluable support to the mother in her role. 
  
A father, whose behaviour is inspired by manly dignity and love of his children is a strong model for his sons and daughters. 
  The father who values his paternal vocation and his place in the home likewise greatly helps to develop the qualities of manliness in his sons, and sets a clear, strong and noble example of manhood for his daughters. 
  Fathers generally follow a career in order to be the breadwinner for the family. 
  Illness, desertion or bereavement are some of the factors which necessitate that a father not only be the breadwinner but also cause him to assume the responsibilities of both parents within the family as well as remaining the paternal head of the family. 
  This can place great demands on the father; prayer and discernment prove invaluable support to the father in his role.  

Both parents benefit greatly from grace sent by God in their roles and daily tasks. 
  Prayer individually, with each other as a loving couple, and as a family helps to strengthen their marriage in the face of the daily challenges families face. 
‘The Family that Prays Together Stays Together’. 

7. Materialism and consumerism
 Children and youth benefit from parental education teaching them independence from the pressures of materialism and consumerism. 
  This will enable them to grow up with a correct attitude of freedom with regard to material goods, by adopting a simple and authentic life-style and being fully convinced that each person is more precious for ‘what he is than for what he has’. [8]

8. Role Models 
The best way to give life education is to be a good role model oneself. 
  Healthy, integrated and moral expression of manhood or womanhood in one’s personal life as a parent/ guardian/ educator is the best advertisement for youth. 

God sent role models for men and women in Joseph, Jesus and Mary. 
  Within their family, they followed Bible-based values. 
  Joseph, as the father and head of the family, gave Jesus example of the virtues and characteristics of a godly man. 
These include; 
 Faith in God 
 Personal Prayer 
 Protection of wife and children 
 Provision of shelter and necessities for a harmonious family home 
 Assistance of Jesus throughout all His human developmental stages 
 Loving his family, ensuring they felt accepted and appreciated 
 Respect for women 
 Compassion 
 Nurturing 
 Affirmation  
 Education of Jesus, ensuring He was equipped with the skills necessary for a happy adult life; ability to read and write, knowledge of prayer, communal worship and the Word of God, support and guidance as Jesus developed His personal talents, reassurance and information as Jesus matured as a man 
 Ensuring a secure and protected family environment 
 Empathy 
 Honourable Values 
 Honour in living out manliness 
 Acceptance of the commitment and responsibilities of marriage and career 
 Self-control 
 Avoidance of addictions 
 Acceptance of civic responsibilities .

In likewise manner, Mary gave Jesus example of the virtues and characteristics of a godly women. These include; 
 Faith in God 
 Personal prayer 
 Protection of unborn infant 
 Nurturing of her Child 
 Loving her family, ensuring they felt accepted and appreciated 
 Assistance of her Child throughout all His human developmental stages 
 Care and nurturing of her husband and family home 
 Protection, nourishment and care of all in her family home 
 Education of Jesus, ensuring He was equipped with the skills necessary for a happy adult life; ability to read and write, knowledge of prayer, communal worship and the Word of God, support and guidance as Jesus developed His personal talents, reassurance and information as Jesus matured as a man 
 Acceptance of civic responsibilities.

Jesus gave example of the virtues and characteristics of a godly child; 
These include; 
 Respect for His parents 
 Learning from the example and teaching of His parents  
 Learning how to develop through His developmental stages by acceptance of wise and loving guidance and teachings from His parents 
 Acceptance of responsibility within the family unit 
 Obedience to His parents 
 Hard work as He learned from the educational opportunities His family offered Him 
 Learning a trade which would make Him self-sufficient 
 Becoming a Man of deep prayer.

Jesus’ Life as portrayed in the Gospels shows a Man of honor Who lived according to the same life values as Joseph. 
  His experience of family life was a positive one. He was welcomed as a newborn into a secure family unit by both father and mother. 
  Jesus was protected from harm by both His parents. 
  As an infant He received nourishment from His mother. 
  Medical care, sustenance, education including personal care and the facts of life, shelter and good manners were ensured by Joseph and Mary in order to guarantee that Jesus flourished through the stages of His human development. 

Jesus grew up in a home unfractured by divorce and inspired by prayerful parents who responsibly carried out their roles. 
  Joseph was the template of fatherly manliness while Mary exemplified motherly womanhood.   Example and role modelling have proved effective over the centuries; the integrated Messiah that Joseph and Mary had parented showed in every witnessing word in the gospels how successful their efforts and devoted love to Jesus had proved. 

[7] The Pontifical Council for the Family. 1995. The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality, Guidelines for Education within the Family. Vatican City; Section V, No 62 
http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/family/documents/rc_pc_family_doc_08121995_human-sexuality_en.html

[8] The Pontifical Council for the Family. 1995. The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality, Guidelines for Education within the Family. Vatican City; Section IV, No 60 
http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/family/documents/rc_pc_family_doc_08121995_human-sexuality_en.html

Value-based sexual expression manual 'Facts of Life'; Part One
http://churchinterfaith.blogspot.ie/2016/07/value-based-sexual-expression-manual.html


FULL BOOKLET OF "VALUE-BASED SEXUAL EXPRESSION 'FACTS OF LIFE' " AVAILABLE IN FOLLOWING LINK;
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B_JEo1vAsAPsdGJxUE1mdVRBdUk

Disclaimer; The information contained in the 'Facts of Life'blog posts is not meant to replace your Doctor or Health Professional Care.

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With thanks to vatican.va